Crazy is Crazy, Never Normal

 

Last night I was hanging our TV on the wall, which was a task in itself. My wife actually helped me and watched our 10 month old daughter at the same time. I thought it would be cool to have the Wifee help BUT BIG MISTAKE!. You see, my wife is a perfectionist, so she wanted the wires in the wall, instead of going down the wall. I try to be a good husband so I honored her request and got the TV on the wall without any wires being visible. The only thing left to do was connect the RCA cables, but one of them broke! After all that hard work, I was unable to watch the TV!

But my mindset is, one monkey doesn’t stop the circus, if it does, you don’t have a circus, you have an exhibit. I cleverly took the HDMI cord from the Play station and connected it to the TV and BAM! I was ready to watch the Season Premier of Scandal. As for the RCA cords that don’t work, I decided to stick them in back of the TV. That’s where my wife came back into the mix by saying, “don’t hide those wires behind the TV; let them hang so we can remember to replace them this weekend”. As for her reasoning behind letting the wires hang down from the TV; she reminded me that I will get comfortable with not replacing the cords, since the TV does work.

At first I was feeling some type of way, but if the truth be told, I would be cool with hiding the broke cables behind the TV. This whole TV experience reminded me of a portion of my life. You know the part of your life where it’s dysfunctional as all get out, but it’s been that way for so long; that it’s normal. That relationship where you and babe argue and fight every night but it’s been that way for so long; that you don’t feel right if there’s peace and harmony. I had a partner who kept a rental car for so long, that he actually got the windows tinted. If your crazy has become your normal; then your normal ain’t normal, but CRAZY. So what am I getting at? Just because you may be going through something crazy, doesn’t mean you have to accept it.



Who are You Serving Right Now?

 

 

 

 

 

I share this post with you, in hopes that you will quickly identify who you are serving. It can Only be 3 types of people throughout your life that you will serve.

YOU WILL SERVE A “Laban” As you serve for Laban, you will often feel unappreciative, unvalued, and like the low-man on the totem pole. You may feel overlooked, overworked, unapplauded, being played, pimped, hustled; and even bamboozled. Fact is: Your not there to be blessed but to serve and learn Humility. While serving Laban, you will learn how to be generally unconcerned about yourself, not being worried about what people think about you and learning to not care who gets the Glory, because you work unto the Lord and not for men. READ GENESIS 29 

YOU WILL SERVE A “Greasy Prophet”. When you’re serving the “Greasy Prophet”, you will receive motivation to serve thru manipulation. You will be told, “Thus saith the Lord”, even though the Lord didn’t say anything. You will receive a prophecy that always seems to agree with what you want. This is done mainly to keep you working. When you’re dealing with the Greasy Prophet, your struggles will be swept under the rug and will not be addressed until you disagree with his agenda; then all hell breaks loose. READ Isaiah 30

FINALLY, YOU WILL SERVE A “BARNABAS” As you serve Barnabas, it will be nothing like what you’re used to. You see, Barnabas will lay his credibility on the line for you to be embraced by individuals who you never would have been introduced to otherwise. Barnabas is there for the LONG HAUL, he will ride with you until you’re capable of doing your own thing. READ ACTS 9

Here’s the dilemma we all are in; we must be able to properly identify which person we are serving; if not, we will complain, murmur and scream, “God this isn’t fair!” Even worse, we will run our Barnabas off or mismanage the time that we are allotted with him.   Bottom line is KNOW WHO YOU SERVE!



And I thought it was all about the jeans

               180° from broke

 

 

It"s amazing how God can give you an idea even when you are backslidden. When I decided to walk away from God, doing my own thing; I had an idea to create my own jean label. I called the label 180° from broke, which at the time meant; being broke is not an option. I was so fixated on this new idea, that I even had my tattoo artist tat it on my neck. Well it’s safe to say, that idea didn’t take off; I was just left with a permanent reminder of why it’s insane to walk away from the Lord. Since I’ve rededicated my life to Him, I’ve still stumbled with alcohol and smoking Kools. You would think that drinking and smoking cigarettes would be easy to overcome by now, but it’s a daily battle. I still have problems with anger and cussing; and what’s so humbling about the situation is that I get tired of confessing the same thing over and over.

Even though I’m humbled by my character flaws; I’m so thankful that my salvation does not depend upon my good deeds, but on what Christ has done for me . What does all this have to do with 180° from broke? I’m glad you asked! Even with my daily struggles, my eternal salvation is certain. I’m no longer spiritually broke and as I continue to learn how to rest in the finished work of Christ, the changes will take place. What has made my walk with Christ tough is believing on a daily basis that Jesus has the patience to complete the work He started in me. I was headed in an entirely different direction; a direction that would of left me indigent of God’s love, But Jesus is able!. I believe Paul said it best, ¹⁵ How true it is, and how I long that everyone should know it, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—and I was the greatest of them all. ¹⁶ But God had mercy on me so that Christ Jesus could use me as an example to show everyone how patient he is with even the worst sinners, so that others will realize that they, too, can have everlasting life. 1Timothy 1:15-16

If you’re struggling with a habit, not feeling like you are saved; just keep fighting, keep getting up, keep confessing because God’s not done with you. It could be possible that God allows us to struggle with certain things, in order to keep us dependent upon Him and His finished work of salvation. Keep belieiving.

 

 



Married and Single at the same time?

 

Since I’ve been divorced 3x and not willing to see my 4^th marriage end in a courtroom; I started looking at certain words. One of the words that caught my eyes was Consummation. In a nutshell, it means to finalize, become valid or bring to completion. Some people believe marriage is a contract between two people; and if that is the case, how do you finalize or complete the contract? Well that depends on where you live; for example, in Alaska, Colorado, Delaware, Idaho, Illinois, Michigan, Montana, Ohio, South Carolina, Vermont and Wisconsin,  in order for a marriage to be consummated (Valid), a couple would need to have sexual relations. So in those states a marriage isn’t valid on the grounds of a marriage certificate alone because the certificate does not complete, validate or bring to fruition the union. Only through the conjugal act does the contract become valid. You’re probably wondering, “What’s with all this consummation, contract and marriage talk?

It dawned on me that before I ever got married, I was married! You see, I was having sex (Consummating) with various women, who I didn’t have a marriage certificate with. But remember, it wasn’t the certificate that validated the marriage, it was the sexual relation. One of the reasons my marriages didn’t work was that I had soul ties with previous women I had sex with. So it is possible for you to be single and married at the same time. If this is the case, your soul becomes scattered and you never fill complete.   In order to be able to re-gather your soul and be able to validate a union, soul ties need to be renounced. To stop here would be a disservice so here’s an example of renouncing a soul tie: Jesus I confess my brokenness and the feeling of my soul being fractured. Lord I confess and renounce every relationship and soul tie that was not in agreement with Your Word. It is Your will that my soul prospers so I want to be in Your will. Lord forgive me and make me whole again, In Jesus Name let it be so. Amen



Healing the Little Child

 

At this point, I want to leave my general audience and

speak to the person who has been married to me from the

beginning. Through my rising and my falls, he has been

there, having no choice in the matter but to follow. He was

there before I had a wife, career, felony, addiction, and even

a mother. He was there during every crime, every lie, every

accolade; he was there for every rejection, every missed

meal, missed hug; he was there for every broken promise,

every fit of rage, times of confusion, every fear, and every

insecure moment. I’m speaking of the six-year-old Marvin.

As the adult Marvin engages in a conversation with the

six-year-old Marvin, I challenge you, the reader, to listen

with your eyes and process through your heart, as I bleed

my emotions through the ink on these pages.

To the six-year-old Marvin, I want to start by saying

that “I’m proud of you.” You were an overcomer, a mighty

warrior in the making. No one had deemed it necessary

to apologize to you for the chaos that you were thrown

into. I wasn’t there for you like you have been there for

me, and that’s because you were me in the making. You

deserve an apology, and since one never came, I’ll give you

one. I’m sorry that you were rejected, left to feel unlovable

and inadequate. Your parents didn’t just abandon you, they

abandoned us. I’m sorry for not being able to speak up for

you and say, “Stop,” when that grown lady warped your

perception of sex by making you perform oral sex on her. I

wish I was there to advocate your need for at least one of

 

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your biological parents to stick around and express their

love for you. Things would have been different if I was

there to tell them to stop using your mother’s addiction as

a disciplining tool against you, injecting hate, and creating

a monster’s image of her because she didn’t know. Six-yearold

Marvin, it would have been on if I could have told those

piss-poor examples of men to get the hell away from you

and grow up. It wasn’t your fault that people expected you

to show a higher level of appreciation for them providing

the basic necessities that kids around you were receiving.

They expected for you to have the rationality of an adult,

understanding their acts of generosity by the constant

reminders that your mother didn’t want you. It was all an

act of cowardice, grown men punching a little kid in the

chest and daring you to cry as if you would crack a wider

smile with every blow. Li’l Marvin, I know it was crazy to

have been shuffled from home to home as if you were a

produce item instead of a person, not knowing where to

unpack your clothes or for how long. All the while I could

sense the anger and hostility building in you as you watched

the people around you turn a blind eye and a deaf ear.

Now that I have apologized for what has happened to

you, Li’l Marvin, I hope you understand it wasn’t your fault.

It is true that you were dealt some bad cards, but guess

what? You made it! Since I’m the biggest benefactor from

you making it, to you I say, “Thank you.” Li’l Marvin, I

need for you to understand that I will be eternally grateful

 

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Marvin James

 

for your resiliency; it’s because of you that I write the words

I do now. I have always loved you and admired your ability

to take a serious situation and turn it into comedy. The

fuel that your anger provided burned past the superficial

accolades of mere spectators, who clapped for what I have

accomplished and sneered at my humanity. I don’t want you

to take this wrong, but I want to communicate accurately.

This is in no way a diplomatic method of me rejecting

you, abandoning you, or pushing you out of my life. Li’l

Marvin, I simply give you permission to go and play. What

has happened to you is considered yesterday, but I’m here

today. Li’l Marvin, you don’t have to be afraid or wonder if

I’ll be here when you return. No one is going to hurt you;

I’m here now to protect you. There is no need for you to

arm yourself with anger or wrap yourself with a coat of

insecurity. The feelings of not belonging has hindered us

from allowing positive people into our life and lured me

to place heavy decisions on your lap, and that wasn’t cool.

I want you to feel something you have always needed but,

for various reasons, it has evaded you. I need for you to

feel freedom and love. As much as I desire for you to feel

acceptance, love, and freedom, I cannot feel those feelings

for you. My survival depends on your decision to trust me

with protecting you and keeping you safe. By the way, Li’l

Marvin, did I mention that I have six adorable kids? Well,

two of them are grown, but I guess you never stop being

a kid to your parents. I need for you to trust me because

 

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I cannot continue to prove my loyalty to you for other

people’s mistakes and simultaneously love the woman who

loved me at a time when I didn’t love you or me. One thing

is for certain, Li’l Marvin, the both of us cannot and will

not act in the role of the adult. You have been robbed of so

much time of being a child, so you go ahead and be one.

Me, on the other hand, I’ve spent too much time being a

child, so I’ll go ahead and be the adult. Sounds fair? Li’l

Marvin, are you listening? This is very important for the

both of us; we need to be on the same page. There will be

times when people fail you; that’s because they are people.

There will be times when our plans fall through the crack,

because plans are based around the future and no man

controls that. There will be times when people close to us

leave; that’s because they added all they could to our life and

we added all we could to theirs. There will be times when

people come into our lives for different reasons, but we will

always be consistent by treating them with love. Finally,

there will be times when you feel all alone, but those are the

times that our Heavenly Father wants to spend with us. Li’l

Marvin, I love you, man.

 



Snap Shot from the Secret of Marriage; Do the Opposite of What I Did By Marvin James

Here is a piece from one of the realest books out!
Do you remember what
an interruption is? If not, here it goes again: “some abrupt
occurrence that interrupts an ongoing activity.” It also
means “the state of being interrupted, a breach or break
caused by the abrupt intervention of something foreign,
intervention, interposition.”
I was thinking that my desire to attend barber school
and taking a reprieve from the criminal activity was my
interruption, but little did I know that my interruption
would be a class B felony for an armed robbery of Subway!
Out of all the criminal activities I had done, and you mean
to tell me I get caught for robbing a Subway restaurant?
Within the span of one week, I go from planning to attend
barber school to robbing a Subway, being incarcerated with
a $150,000 bond and facing a twenty to twenty-five-year
sentence in prison.
As I sat in a cold cell that first night, I thought to myself
that I knew I was caught and there was no need for me
staying up, worrying about what would happen at this
point. If you were to line up ten men in a cell and didn’t
know who was the guilty one, wait and see who goes to
sleep first, and you will have spotted the guilty one. You see,
when you know you’re innocent, you can’t rest, because you
have done absolutely nothing to be held against your will.
Only the guilty can snuggle with a pillow in a cell because
he knows that it’s over and he can finally rest.

Man! I miss my Mama

I can’t believe 4 years have passed since you left me. To this day, I haven’t mastered the art of coming to terms with you being gone. Your grandkids are something else; by the way, Lil Marvin has made you a Great-Grandmother and Ash is about to give you your 2^nd great-grandbaby! I still remember the last time I saw you, 2 days before you passed; you were so at peace. Now that I’m grown and have made my fair share of mistakes; I can honestly say, “I understand Mama”. For so long I judged you by the same standards that I have failed at as a father. I was too quick to lash out at you, not knowing the emotional beating you had already taken from men who didn’t love you. Because of your alcoholism, I ran so far from you that I made a complete 360 degree turn and became what I despised the most; an alcoholic parent.  It took some time but I understand the reasoning behind giving my brother and me to Granny. What you lacked in Motherly Instincts, you knew that Granny could provide for us and you didn’t want us to suffer.  Two days before you passed, I felt honored to take care of you and watch as you prepared yourself to humbly leave this life. My only regret was:

Not having this conversation with you, before you passed. Mama I love you.

If your mama is still alive, grab her by the hand and grant forgiveness if needed, ask for it, if you have offended. Look her in the eyes and say, “Thank you for having me, you could have had an abortion”. What am I trying to say? Miss your mama before you miss your mama. Don’t end up writing a letter on this side, while she is on eternity’s side.

                                                                     

What I’m Saying?

This post is for everyone that ridicules Ebonics. If I was to say that God uses Ebonics, what would you say? You would probably call me a Liar. Most people are careful about what they are saying to God when they are praying, so you probably won’t hear any cursing or gossiping during prayer. But did you know that God has the ability to hear every sort of prayer; the begging prayer, false prayer, sinner prayer, plea bargain prayer, thankful prayer and even the complaining prayer; BUT the question lurks, Does He hear me? He hears us more than we think. You see, what if God did all His listening with His eyes? What if we talked to God with our actions? Since God is Omnipresence, He sees Everything we do or He sees what we are saying. I thought black folk made the phrase, “See what I’m saying”, which means, Do you understand? But it is God who See’s what you are saying! God not only sees what you do BUT He understands why you do it. I’m not saying that God is OK with you flat-out sinning but He understands why we sin. When we tell a lie because of insecurities, God says, “I see what you saying”. When we commit that same sin over again because it has become a coping skill, God says, “I see what you saying”. Since most of us want to be understood, why not take our issues to God, who not only understands why the Issue is there, but He also has the power to deliver us from the issue. You see what I’m saying?

 

  

 

 

 

 

 
    

 

 
                                                                               

Its Perctect; No Need to Test Drive

                                        I took a survey recently, asking random individuals, if given a choice between purchasing a 2000 Honda Accord with 120,000 miles on it for 15,000 dollars or purchasing a 2013 Honda Accord with 5,000 miles on it for 16,000 dollars, which vehicle would you buy? It was sorta like a, “No Brainer” because 98% of the people chose the 2013 Honda Accord with 5,000 miles on it. (The 2% that chose the 2000 Honda Accord, were just being Donkey (A@%) like).

The reason behind choosing the Accord with less mileage is simple; it hasn’t been driven as much. Another reason for choosing the Accord with less mileage was the commitment; if I’m going to have a payment for the next 4 years, I don’t want to be paying for a lot of miscellaneous repairs that the previous owner didn’t take care of.

So what does all this talk about cars have to do with this blog? Well it’s like this; Ladies, stop giving away the “Goodies”. If you’re sleeping with every, Tom, Dick and Larry, you’re racking up mileage. With mileage comes wear & tear. The wear & tear comes from the emotional fallout that happens when you physically (Have Sex) with someone who isn’t your spouse. I know some of you are turning your noses up to this but sooner or later, you will want a Buyer (Man)! Don’t get mad if you get a buyer (Man) who can’t afford the maintenance you come with, due to your previous drivers, running you into the ground. My Beautiful Queens, you are worth a man waiting on you and for you. What you have is Sacred and Perfect; which means; it don’t need any TEST DRIVERS.

           

                                             

Praise Goes Up and Blessings Come Down

 

This morning, I walked into the office and heard a song playing, which sounded foreign in content but the beat was familiar. A Dr that I work with was listening to a song called, “Happy Lohri”. Since the song was not in English, I asked the Dr for the lyrics and she stated that it was a song signifying a celebration in India. The Dr said that Lohri was not just a festival for the people, but a symbol of life. This harvesting festival was associated with the hope of the farmers, as they believed that the fields promised a golden return to them.

While I don’t think I will be singing that song at Karaoke night, I can’t help but be inspired by the custom. The farmers would perform all the hard work of tilling and preparing the ground; then sow the seeds. Once this was accomplished, the farmers would gather for a celebration; but what is amazing to me is the type of celebration they would have. I would think that the celebration would be for finishing the hard labor; but assuming that would take away from the concept. These farmers celebrated the hopes and expectation of what the seeds would produce! Most of us would have a party once we saw the harvest ripe or after we were able to fill our barns with the crops BUT not these farmers. They KNEW that all the hard work they performed would prosper.  I wonder how marriages would blossom if we praised God for our spouses before they matured? How many of our children would exceed all expectations, if we would praise God before they were tested? I'm going to have a party tonight, praising God for relatives and friends that are still struggling with an addiction; then have a celebration for people who will recover from cancer! THAT"S GOSPEL

Philippians 4:6

 Never worry about anything. But in every situation let God know what you need in prayers and requests while giving thanks



Short Man Complex

Since I stand at about 5ft 6inches tall, I have grown accustomed to all of the short people jokes. I even had to deal with my own insecurities about being short or “Vertically Challenged”. I went through the stage of acting like the Blowfish; sticking out my chest, swelling up when I felt unsafe. But now that I’m all grown up (Still 5ft6); I’ve noticed how taller people suffer from the same complex. This complex is called, “The Short Man Complex”. How can a 6ft 6 inch man struggle with the Short Man Complex? Have you ever known a person who is over qualified for a position or possessed qualities that would compliment a certain task, but constantly plays the second fiddle? They believe that by shrinking back from the moment, they have exemplified Humility. Nothing could be further from the truth! You see, true humility is allowing God to present an opportunity for His Gifts in you to be a blessing to others; BUT if these opportunities are met with you declining to use your gifts, God gets no glory in that. You and greatness have an appointment but if you’re constantly rescheduling; you my friend, are suffering from “The Short Man Complex”. This is your season to shine! The world has been waiting for your contribution and has grown defiant towards your “Short Man Complex”.

Matthew 5:16

Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven 

I'm Fly and Don't Know Why

k     

I can remember growing up, when the first pair of Jordans came out. Everybody and their mama were at the mall, waiting in line at Footlocker for hours, hoping that the store didn’t sell out. Well a lot of time has passed since the first pair of “Js” came out but not too much has changed. I have partners who buy Jordans under any circumstance; got laid off, bought a pair of Jordans. Just filed bankruptcy, bought a pair of Jordans. Child support garnishing over half of their check, bought Jordans. Couldn’t afford to bury his mother; bought a pair of Jordans.  I also know females who have their hair whipped, $400-$500 weaves(That’s half of a mortgage payment), but don’t have a week worth of groceries in the house. Somewhere down the line a memo must have went out that stated, “Who you are and what you are, will be decided by what you got and how you look”. If that was the case, I wish a second memo would be sent that states, “Michael Jordan has more than enough of your money; his self esteem and his kids self esteem is well intact; but on the other hand, it’s obvious your self esteem is lacking for a shoe to make you or break you”. To my sisters; there is nothing wrong with wanting to look good But make sure them babies have milk, food, books, and most of all; make sure them kids have a mother who’s self worth is not woven into the fiber of synthetic hair from India or Mr. Lee’s Nail Salon.

Keep the Main Thing the Main Thing, A Christ-Filled Life with Contentment (1 Timothy 6:6-7)