I Thought Men Weren't Supposed to Cry?

Whoever made the saying, “Men don’t cry”, were exactly right; Real men WEEP! The artist Lyfe Jennings said, “Crying is like taking your soul to the laundry mat”. When a man doesn’t allow himself the freedom to express the pain, guilt, hurt, failures and fears in the form of crying; he becomes a very dangerous man. Crying isn’t a display of weakness but the physical proof that a man is in tune with the emotional trauma that brews within him.  The reason you don’t see some men cry is that they have taken some form of anesthesia to numb any feeling that will conflict with the ego. The form of anesthesia varies upon the man. Some men use sex, others use alcohol or drugs; while others still prefer the old form of anesthesia, which is violence. If a man cannot emotionally express himself, does that mean he doesn’t have such emotions? Absolutely not; he’s just been conditioned to act a little inhumane. The same emotions that a man is expected to identify and respond to with his woman, are the same emotions that the man runs from in his own soul. My question is, “How does that work?”

Sisters, if your man seems to be void of any emotions, unable to emotionally breakdown; wrap your arms gently around his shoulders and just hold him. Confirm to him with a soft voice that he is needed, valued and appreciated. Most of all, acknowledge the fact that he continues to fight in the war of masculinity; in spite of the wounds that injured and scarred him emotionally and mentally.

Bottom Line Ladies: If Men don’t cry, men need to learn how to, and you will need to teach us.

Burger King God

When it comes to food, especially burgers; I want my burger the way I want it! Most of the times I like my burger with everything on it; but if I’m going on a date with the Mrs. I might choose to void the onions, just in case she try to get a little fresh with me. That’s why I’ve always like Burger King because their slogan was, “Have it your way”.

I’m not the brightest guy on the planet but I do know that when it comes to God, you don’t get to, “have it your way”. Sometimes I’m amazed at the thought that you can do whatever you want, say whatever you want, and still say that “I’m a Christian”. The idea of claiming that Jesus is lord of one’s life but you can sleep around, get drunk, smoke dope (THC), and cuss like a sailor, is an idea that had to come from Burger King. I say that because if you can serve a God who is cool with whatever lifestyle one chooses; instead of the lifestyle he commands, that would make you a God of your God! If that be the case, why don’t we all just go to the strip club, make it rain and shout, “Hallelujah” as the dancer shakes her breast in your face? Why not cheat on your spouse and during the moment of climax, scream, “Thank you Jesus?”

There is more hope and respect for a person that says, “I’m my God and I do what I want to”, than for a person to say, “I serve a God who is cool with whatever tickles my fancy.” Maybe with Allah, Buddha or Self, you can make up the rules as you go But with Christ, that’s not the case.

1 Kings 18:21- Elijah challenged the people: “How long are you going to sit on the fence? If God is the real God, follow him; if it’s Baal, follow him. Make up your minds!” Nobody said a word; nobody made a move.

Food for the Underdog

This book is for YOU!

Failed in a relationship; this book is for you!

Divorced and thinking about marriage; this book is for you!

Problems with infidelity; this book is for you!

Trying to work through the Blended Family Syndrome; this book is for you!

Fell for Mr. Right but married Mr. Wrong; this book is for you!

In love with a person who is in love with an addiction; this book is for you!

Have difficulty trusting the person you’re with; this book is for you!

I believe if you’re reading this right now, The Secret of Marriage; Do the opposite of What I Did, is a book that will provide tremendous insight into the core issues of sincere individuals; trying to maintain and flourish in a relationship. This book is not traditional in presenting a superfical attempt at being transparent. If you are rational, open and willing to allow the failures of another, shed light on areas of your life that have remained hidden, THIS BOOK IS FOR YOU. GET YOUR COPY OF THE BOOK THAT MANY HAVED DUBBED AS, "One of The Most Transparent Pieces Ever Written".

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R.E.S.P.E.C.T, Find out What It Means To Me

Throughout your lifetime you and I will come across individuals who will go out of their way to ensure they feel respected. The question is, “How far are you willing to go, in order to feel respected?” I have loss count of the times where I’ve been willing to act disrespectful in order to feel respected. What I’ve learned is that feeling respected can be quite expensive. In your quest to feel respected, you might have to run over a relationship, dismantle a family, damage your character, or become a hermit; all at the expense of feeling respected. If you’re a person who enjoys serving others, you may feel disrespected if you feel people are taking advantage of your servant hood. You may be a person who delights in giving; but if someone continues to come to the table empty handed, you may not feel respected.

When you have the urge to feel respected, ask yourself if the urge is worth acting disrespectful towards others, in order to gain the feeling of respect about yourself. If the actions of others can motivate a change in my behavior, that will ultimately be detrimental towards my character; will I feel respected? 

Happy Meal $5, Taco bell taco $3, KFC Tenders $6; A woman who can cook, PRICELESS

Today I read about a security guard in Los Angeles, who ordered a 3 piece box of tenders from KFC. When the security guard bit into one of the tenders, he said, “It was very nasty. I spit it out. I looked down at my hand and I realized that it was in the shape of a rat with a tail and everything in it.” Now here’s the kicker, when the security guard returned to the KFC, he showed the manager the picture, and the manager confirmed that it was a rat. The manager apologized for it and offered the security guard a “Free Meal!” If I was accidentally served a rat from your restaurant, why would I want a free meal from there?

Going out to eat these days can easily turn into an episode from Survivor Series because you never know what you’re going to be eating. Hearing about this incident gave me a new perspective on fast food. I knew some of the negatives of eating fast food, such as; diabetes, weight gain, obesity, cardiovascular conditions and mortality. But now we have to be concerned about “Mystery Meat”?

If you have a woman who knows her way around the kitchen and not just to the refrigerator, you are extremely blessed. There is something to be said about a woman who can prepare a meal for her family. She signifies concern about the family’s finances, not wanting to be wasteful by buying groceries and eating out. She exhibits a love for her family, taking charge of what ingredients they digest; cutting the chances of obesity. It’s something sexy about this woman, watching her gracefully move in the kitchen, stirring a pot, while simultaneously moving her hips in harmony with the stirring spoon.  She show’s her authority by creating a meal, allowing the smell to shout to her family that it is time to eat; without ever opening her mouth.  

This Could be a Painful 2 Step

The definition of the word Delusion is; A false belief held despite strong evidence against it; self deception. If it looks like a dog, barks like a dog, and growls like a dog, it’s a Dog. If it looks like a cat, meows like a cat and purrs like a cat; you my friend have yourself a Cat. A delusional person would think differently; to a delusional person, they don’t believe fat meat is greasy.  Delusional people believe that they can dance in the water and not get wet.

As I pondered on the word delusional, I couldn’t help but ask the question; “Do I act delusional at times?” As a Christian, I am married to Christ, which means I’m in a relationship. But there are times when I choose to dance with the devil by watching movies that are saturated with sex, profanity and filth. There are times when I choose to dance with the devil by wanting to party like the world parties. At times I choose to dance with the devil by judging other’s sins but justifying the same sins, when I commit them.

Here’s the delusion of dancing with the devil; I believe that I can watch whatever I want, without being affected by it. I believe that I can have secret rendezvous with the devil, without paying the price for my sin. The delusion gets stronger as it grows; allowing me to strongly believe that I’m in right standing with God, while living like hell from Monday-Saturday.

We have a God who is just, merciful and loving, He warns us, “Do not deceive yourselves. God is not to be scoffed at. For whatever a man sows, that he will also reap.” Galatians 6:7  

BOTTOM LINE: ITS NOT IN OUR BEST INTEREST TO PICK A ENEMY AS A DANCE PARTNER.

The BLESSING in wanting to QUIT

As I woke up this morning, I realized that it was Monday; and it starts another week of going to the same job and doing the same thing. I must confess that I go to work everyday and want to quit. I have wanted to quit my job at least 365 days in the past year. I have another confession to make; I have 7 children, ranging from the ages of 24, 22, 16, 11, 8, 7 and 1. I want to quit being a father a lot of days, because the demands of being a parent and a role model put a certain amount of pressure on the soul; not to mention the inadequate feelings that stem from 3 previous divorces. My last confession that I will share with you, (I’ll share the others with God) is that there are days when I’ve wanted to quit in my marriage, even though I have a very amazing wife. Insecurities from my past, and knowing that I cannot provide for my wife’s every want, gets the inadequacy balls rolling.  

Just when I began to get some momentum going so that I can throw in the towel on being a father, an employee and a husband; I can hear a still small voice that says, “It’s a blessing to have something to quit”. “Do you know that there is a person who would love to have someone that they could argue with, instead of hearing the cold, solid walls echo the emptiness of a home?” The still small voice continues; “Do you know that there is a couple that cannot have a child and have desperately utilized all their financial resources to conceive a child; while you have 7 healthy children?”  If that wasn’t enough, the still small voice says, “While you want to quit your job on a daily basis; there is someone who is unemployed, anxiously awaiting a call for an interview or a call stating that the interview went well and they’ve been selected for the position?”

BOTTOM LINE; YOU’RE BLESSED IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING THAT YOU WANT TO QUIT; JUST DON’T QUIT!

Whats the Purpose of the Paper?

I heard a story of two brothers who were graduating high school in a small rural town. The brothers planned on going to college to become doctors. The small town that the brothers were from had no doctors within a 100 mile radius, so a wealthy farmer contacted the two brothers and scheduled a meeting with them. At the meeting, the farmer informed the brothers that he would pay for their college tuition, living expenses and medical school tuition, if they would agree to practice medicine in the small town, once they became doctors. The two brothers agreed to the deal, and the news of the agreement reached all the locals in the small town. A lawyer, who caught wind of the agreement, decided to meet with the wealthy farmer. The lawyer asked the farmer if he had already drew up the contract for the agreement and the farmer told him, “No”. The lawyer, who was excited about the farmer’s generosity, told the farmer that he would write up a contract for the farmer’s agreement with the brothers for no additional fee. The farmer looked at the lawyer intently and paused, prior to removing his glasses and said to the lawyer, “Son, I’ve been around long enough to know that if a man’s word isn’t any good; then that paperwork that you’re wanting to draw up, won’t be any good either.” 

BOTTOM LINE

If you say that it's going to happen, then make sure it happens.

The Only Question is, WHY?

I’m not the smartest bear in the woods but the last time that I checked, lions are hunters and they are carnivorous (Meat eaters). As I read the horrifying news of the young lady who was mauled by the lion, I found myself with mixed emotions. At first I was furious at the lion for acting like a predator, preying on its victim’s curiosity and almost immediately killing the young lady. Then my feelings switched from the lion to the young lady; wondering why in the H.E. Double Hockey sticks would a person allow a lion to come up to their vehicle and let their window down? As I gathered my composure, I came to understand that the lion was being a lion; as a master hunter, it pounces on its prey with no remorse.  The South African Game Reserve stated that their rule was for tourist to keep their windows up at all times.

What really stood out to me was the statement that an observer made, who watched the young lady’s fatal encounter with the big cat. “It looked almost innocent----a photo of this beautiful lion stretched out, standing up like that against the car,” Govender said. “No one could have imagined what would happen next.” Well I can imagine what will happen if I come up to a 500lbs hungry lion, and think he wants me to interview him; that lion will be having Negro for dinner.

I think Peter said it best; “Be well balanced (temperate, sober of mind), be vigilant and cautious at all times; for that enemy of yours, the devil, roams around like a lion roaring [in fierce hunger], seeking someone to seize upon and devour.”  I Peter 5:8

You and I have a enemy who patiently waits for us to allow our curiosity for a thrill, to tempt us into letting our windows down. Once we allow curiosity to overtake us, we tend to let our windows of our marriages down, windows to our integrity down, windows to our sobriety down and without further notice, your adversary goes in for the kill. Don’t get caught slipping, keep your windows rolled up. 

So Easy, A Caveman Can Do It

Do you believe it is possible to become advanced in technology but stupid as H.E. double hockey sticks? If you answered, Yes then you are absolutely right. I don’t try to keep up with the latest phone but due to being notorious for losing or breaking my phone, I tend to get a new one pretty often. It has dawned on me that I have over 60 contacts in my phone; but out of the 60 contacts, I only know 6 phone numbers by heart, 7 if I include my own number.

Don’t get me wrong, I do appreciate the comfort and convenience of being able to make a call, or check the score of a game anywhere, but could it be possible that I’ve become a “Technical Dummy”? If so, then I’m not alone. While working at a hospital, I witness people on a daily basis, requesting to get emergency numbers out of there phone because they don’t know the numbers by heart. It’s a good thing that I don’t practice criminal activities any longer because if I got arrested, I wouldn’t be able to call anyone collect and request commissary; simply because I don’t have any numbers memorized.  

How did a device that was meant to be a convenience turn into a necessity? I got a son who is going to the 6^th grade, and he believes without a shadow of a doubt, that he needs a cell phone. At that age, I know exactly where he is at; he is either at school or at home. If need be, I know where to get in contact with him between the hours of 8am-3pm.

Here’s a challenge to you, if you believe that you’re a technical guru in a technical society; try writing down the numbers of your contacts without using your phone. Let me know how many you can write down. BTW, if you write your own number down, you’re probably in the same boat I’m in; The Technical Dummy Boat. 

The Antidote for Having A Bad Day

Since most of what I post comes from the heart; what I go through in my personal life, will frequently spill over into what I write. For the last month, I have experienced what some call, “Writer’s Block”.  I would like to think of it as, Stressed Out! Writing is what I use when my world appears to be closing; it’s the one sure thing that I can use as a sounding board. And the sounds that come from it are anger, fear, injustice, spirituality, love and family. So if I’m not able to write, I know that I’m in a bad spot. So what do you do when you’re in this spot? You do what I did; you fixate, ruminate, exaggerate, and rehearse all the negative situations in your life and pick at the scabs of past regrets, until you’re left with open, emotional wounds all to yourself. And that is where I was UNTIL;

I learned a new phrase that sounded kinda sassy; allowing me to put some attitude behind it. That phrase was, Hallelujah Anyhow ! You probably want to know how I used that phrase; well it goes like this;

I didn’t get the raise or the promotion but Hallelujah Anyhow!

I got stuck in the middle of rush hour traffic but Hallelujah Anyhow!

I haven’t spent time reading God’s Word but Hallelujah Anyhow!

I still got issues with getting upset with people but Hallelujah Anyhow!

I feel like I’m all alone, since I’m not married but Hallelujah Anyhow!

My kids seem to busy to call me for my birthday but Hallelujah Anyhow!

Are you starting to get the picture? You see, when we decide to offer praise in spite of our circumstances, the enemy understands that it’s useless to attack you because you have a Hallelujah Anyhow Spirit. Serve notice to the devil, letting him know that since he didn’t make you, he can’t break you! Hallelujah Anyhow!